Sex, Lies, and Marriage

In a world where traditional values are often challenged, the sanctity of marriage remains a cornerstone of faith and community. But what does it mean to truly honor marriage, and why is it so important?

At its core, marriage is more than just a legal contract or a romantic partnership. It's a sacred covenant that reflects something far greater – our relationship with God. Just as a husband and wife commit to love and cherish one another, God has made an unbreakable covenant with His people. This profound connection is illustrated throughout Scripture, from the Old Testament prophets to the teachings of Jesus and Paul.

Consider these powerful words from Isaiah 54:5-6: "For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. For the Lord has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God."

This metaphor of God as a faithful husband to His people carries through to the New Testament, where Paul writes in Ephesians 5:31-33: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church."

When we understand marriage in this light, we see that honoring it goes far beyond just staying faithful to our spouse. It's about reflecting God's love and commitment to the world around us.

So how can we practically honor marriage in our daily lives?

1. Speak truthfully, not deceitfully: Our words have power, especially when it comes to our spouse. Are we building them up or tearing them down? Are we honest in our communication, or do we twist the truth for our own gain? In Deuteronomy 22, we see a harsh judgment for a man who falsely accuses his wife of infidelity. While the specifics of this law don't apply today, the principle remains – honesty and integrity in marriage are non-negotiable.
2. Live faithfully, not adulterously: Sexual fidelity is a cornerstone of honoring marriage. In our hyper-sexualized culture, it's easy to become desensitized to the seriousness of adultery. But God takes it very seriously. Jesus himself said it was the only justifiable reason for seeking divorce (Matthew 19:9). When we remain faithful to our spouse, we're not just honoring them – we're honoring God and the covenant He's made with us.
3. Practice sexual purity, not immorality: This goes beyond just avoiding adultery. It's about recognizing that sexual intimacy is a gift meant for the confines of marriage. In a world that often treats sex casually, choosing purity sets us apart and reflects God's design. This applies to singles as well as married couples – honoring marriage means respecting its boundaries even before we enter into it ourselves.
4. Lead selflessly, not selfishly: For those in leadership roles (especially men in the context of this passage), there's a call to lead like Christ – sacrificially and for the good of others. Ephesians 5:25 instructs, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." This kind of selfless love creates stability and security, not just in individual families, but in entire communities.

It's important to note that these principles aren't about creating a harsh, legalistic system. Rather, they're about aligning our lives with God's perfect design for marriage and relationships. When we do this, we create a powerful witness to the world around us.

But what about those who have fallen short? What about the adulterer, the porn addict, or the person who's made serious mistakes in relationships? The beauty of the gospel is that there is always hope and forgiveness available. Jesus demonstrated this clearly in John 8 when he encountered the woman caught in adultery. He didn't condone her sin, but he also didn't condemn her. Instead, he offered grace and a call to "go and sin no more."

This is the heart of God towards all of us who have failed to perfectly honor marriage and sexual purity. There is forgiveness. There is restoration. And there is a call to live differently going forward.

As we reflect on these truths, let's consider some practical steps we can take to honor marriage in our own lives:

1. Commit to speaking only positively about your spouse in public and private.
2. If you're married, renew your commitment to sexual and emotional fidelity.
3. If you're single, respect the boundaries of marriage in your interactions with others.
4. Seek accountability and support if you're struggling with sexual sin or temptation.
5. Look for ways to sacrificially serve your spouse or support the marriages of those around you.

By taking these steps, we not only strengthen our own relationships, but we become a powerful testimony to a watching world. In a culture that often devalues marriage, we have the opportunity to showcase its beauty and sacred nature.

Remember, honoring marriage isn't just about following rules. It's about reflecting the incredible love that God has for His people. It's about creating stable families that form the bedrock of thriving communities. And ultimately, it's about pointing others to the greatest love story ever told – the story of a God who loved us so much that He gave His own Son to make us His bride.

As we go forward, may we hold fast to the sacredness of marriage, extending grace to those who struggle, and always pointing back to the One who designed it all. For in doing so, we don't just honor an institution – we honor the God who created it.